(from the Beis Halevi on the Torah — Hagaon Rav Yosef Dov Ber [Yoshe Ber] Soloveitchik zt”l [1820-1892] rav of Brisk and one of the Roshei Yeshiva of Volozhin, combined complete mastery of Torah with keen analysis. He combined humility with strong leadership and, like Rivka in the piece that follows, kindness with wisdom and tact. His Beis Halevi on conceptual-halakhic issues and his Beis Halevi on the Torah are both classics.)
Rivka: Kindness with Wisdom and Tact
There are two slight difficulties in the Torah’s story of Eliezer’s meeting with Rivka:
1. Why did Eliezer say let me drink a little water from your pitcher? Why not just ask for water; is it not clear where it is coming from?
2. There is a subtle inconsistency between Eliezer’s prayer and the actual account of their meeting; his sign is that the woman will say, “And I will also give your camels to drink,” and she actually says, “I will give them to drink until they finish drinking.” Why the addition?
Eliezer’s signs were not arbitrary; they were engineered to find a wife with a character fitting Avraham’s son. Furthermore, he was looking for someone not only kind, but also wise and tactful. Kindness is not always thought out, and can be done awkwardly; he looked for a woman whose kindness was directed by wisdom and tact. Eliezer realized that even if he finds such a person, he would still need special Divine intervention to find such a woman from Avraham’s family.
In order to find such a woman, Eliezer asked to drink right from the pitcher — not for her to pour into a cup — and waited to see how she would react. Would she have the kindness to give to a perfect stranger, especially one who asks to drink from the vessel itself (‘Who knows where his mouth has been?’)?
He also wanted to find someone wise and tactful. What if he really was sick? What would she do with the rest of the water? Just taking the rest of it home would not be smart; perhaps it is contaminated. Pouring the rest of the jug out would be an affront to the stranger, definitely not tactful. It would be saying to the stranger, “We do you a favor, but are worrried about how sanitary you are.”
So the next sign Eliezer asked for was that the woman should offer to water his camels. That way he would be able to test her wisdom and tact. If she gave the rest of the water to the camels, she would be able to do chesed for the stranger without having to worry about drinking the rest of the water in the jug, and without offending the stranger by throwing out the rest of it. His camels drinking the water would solve all of the problems.
Rivka proved to be kind, wise and tactful – but a step ahead of Eliezer. She realized that if she merely pours out the remaining water from the pitcher into the camels’ trough, it might be seen as a creative ploy to avoid drinking the rest of the water, possible tainted by the stranger’s saliva. Rivka then offered to give the camels water until they finish drinking, certainly taking care of the camels’ thirst, but also avoiding any possibility of offending the unknown stranger.
[prepared by Eliezer Kwass]
