Naming a Child – Part II
Recorded by Rav David Shamula in the name of HaGaon Rav Shmuel Pinchasi Shlita
When Sephardi and Ashkenazi Minhagim Conflict
An alumnus asks…
After reading the Halachot of naming a child (in the Tevet E-Bulletin) I still had a question. The following situation: If the father is Sephardi and the mother is Ashkenazi and their first son is born. Both grandfathers (of the newborn son) are alive and they both have exactly the same name (no nicknames etc.). The following problem arises. The father wants to name the child as his father (Sephardi custom). The mother doesn’t want to give that name to the child since her father has the same name and is still alive (Ashkenazi custom). Also the grandparents will accept any decision made. Who get’s the right to choose the name? And what custom should be followed?
After discussing the questions with HaGaon Rav Shmuel Pinchasi Shlita, Rav Shamula answers…
In Bereishit Raba (Parsha 37, Siman 10) it says, “We name after our fathers.” We find that Rav Shimon Ben Gamliel called his son Rav Gamliel while his father Rav Gamliel was still alive. Rashi (Divrei Hayamim A, 2:20) writes that Chur the son of Kalev called his son Kalev while his father was still alive.
The Ashkenazi Minhag not to name a child after a living relative was brought down by Rav Yehuda Hachasid. It would not apply to a household that keeps Sephardic Minhagim.
Therefore if you can persuade your wife that there isn’t a problem to name after the living then you may certainly name a son after your father even though it is also your wife’s father’s name. However, if she is adamant against naming the child with your/and her father’s name, you should either add a name or call him by a different name altogether (Rav Shmuel Pinchasi).
Rav Ovadia Yosef (in Yavia Omer, Chelek Hey, Yorei Deah, Siman 21) brings down from the responsa of the Rashbash that the Ramban’s son married Rabeinu Yonah’s daughter. While she was pregnant, Rabeinu Yonah passed away. The Ramban told his son, “Even though you should name him Moshe after me, I want you to call him Yonah after Rabeinu Yonah.” The son agreed, and little Yonah went on to become a big Rav. We see from here that if the paternal grandfather allows his son to call the grandson by a different name it is fine.
Therefore, if your wife is still against naming him after your (and her) father, you should give him a different name. Shalom bayit takes precedence over this Minhag.
EDITOR’S NOTE
Another alumni commented that last month’s “Naming a Child” Tshuva did not make clear that the newborn child does not have to be named after a deceased relative for Ashkenazim. He concludes, “I personally would tend to jettison the naming-after relative premise. It frequently causes severe familial stress, and it unnecessarily limits the potential names.”
As the above Tshuva should make clear, no matter how dearly we hold the “naming after relative” Minhagim, Shalom bayit is the primary consideration.
