An
alumnus asks...
After reading the Halachot of naming a child (in
the Tevet E-Bulletin) I still had a question. The
following situation: If the father is Sephardi and
the mother is Ashkenazi and their first son is born.
Both grandfathers (of the newborn son) are alive
and they both have exactly the same name (no nicknames
etc.). The following problem arises. The father
wants to name the child as his father (Sephardi
custom). The mother doesn't want to give that name
to the child since her father has the same name
and is still alive (Ashkenazi custom). Also the
grandparents will accept any decision made. Who
get's the right to choose the name? And what custom
should be followed?
After
discussing the questions with HaGaon Rav Shmuel
Pinchasi Shlita, Rav Shamula answers...
In
Bereishit Raba (Parsha 37, Siman 10) it says,
"We name after our fathers." We find that Rav
Shimon Ben Gamliel called his son Rav Gamliel
while his father Rav Gamliel was still alive.
Rashi (Divrei Hayamim A, 2:20) writes that Chur
the son of Kalev called his son Kalev while his
father was still alive.
The
Ashkenazi Minhag not to name a child after a living
relative was brought down by Rav Yehuda Hachasid.
It would not apply to a household that keeps Sephardic
Minhagim.
Therefore
if you can persuade your wife that there isn't
a problem to name after the living then you may
certainly name a son after your father even though
it is also your wife's father's name. However,
if she is adamant against naming the child with
your/and her father's name, you should either
add a name or call him by a different name altogether
(Rav Shmuel Pinchasi).
Rav
Ovadia Yosef (in Yavia Omer, Chelek Hey, Yorei
Deah, Siman 21) brings down from the responsa
of the Rashbash that the Ramban's son married
Rabeinu Yonah's daughter. While she was pregnant,
Rabeinu Yonah passed away. The Ramban told his
son, "Even though you should name him Moshe after
me, I want you to call him Yonah after Rabeinu
Yonah." The son agreed, and little Yonah went
on to become a big Rav. We see from here that
if the paternal grandfather allows his son to
call the grandson by a different name it is fine.
Therefore,
if your wife is still against naming him after
your (and her) father, you should give
him a different name. Shalom bayit takes precedence
over this Minhag.
EDITOR'S
NOTE
Another
alumni commented that last month's "Naming a Child"
Tshuva did not make clear that the newborn child
does not have to be named after a deceased relative
for Ashkenazim. He concludes, "I personally would
tend to jettison the naming-after relative premise.
It frequently causes severe familial stress, and
it unnecessarily limits the potential names."
As
the above Tshuva should make clear, no matter
how dearly we hold the "naming after relative"
Minhagim, Shalom bayit is the primary consideration.
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